Today’s post is by Felicia Mirghassemi, a Licensed Professional Counselor Intern (LPC-Intern) at Counseling South Austin. She specializes in helping anxious people, especially those who are anxious in social settings. You can contact Felicia for a free 30 minute consultation here.
Life is filled with choices.
Countless decisions are made every single day.
Anything from choosing between a salad or a burger, working extra hours or going home early, having that extra drink on Thirsty Thursday or being prepared for your Friday morning Chemistry exam.
Then there are the BIG life altering decisions.
The ones that sit heavy on your chest until you weigh the pros and cons.
- Declaring a major
- Choosing a career path
- Staying in a difficult relationship
- Marriage
- Children
And the list goes on and on and on….
For an indecisive second-guesser like me – a lot of energy goes into choosing which direction to go.
Sometimes that even leaves me stuck sitting smack dab in the middle of the fork in the road with no sense of direction.
But eventually everyone makes a choice. Life is filled with deadlines forcing you to choose left or right.
So what happens when you’re faced with choice paralysis?
You stop.
Often times the scariest part of the fork in the road is the idea that you can NEVER take a step back on the path.
Taking a few steps back does NOT mean you’re moving backwards.
This can give you an opportunity to see all of your options through a wide-lens, rather than a narrow zoom.
You may even see some potential options that you didn’t think of when you were nose to nose with the decision at hand.
So, I bet you’re thinking – great, that’s exactly how I feel but HOW DO I MAKE IT STOP?!?
Here are two particular strategies that I always use when faced with choice paralysis.
1. Values List!
I’m sure everybody has already told you to make a pro/con list, but have you made a values list?
Everybody has bigger picture goals that they hope to accomplish.
Psychology calls this self-actualization, but it’s really just a fancy word for feeling like your life has meaning.
So step back and look at this choice in the widened lens of your life as a whole.
Which decision matches your life values?
- Visualize it!
Do you get a ball of knots in the pit of your stomach when you really picture the idea of placing yourself at this new job you’ve been offered?
Or does declaring an “impractical” major over a “practical” major terrify you?
Fear is a signal from your brain.
Sometimes it’s telling you something just doesn’t sit right.
But sometimes, it’s only the fear of change and the unknown, and that’s not always a bad thing.
DON’T let the fear of the unknown dictate your life decisions.
TRUST the little voice in your head. It knows you better than you think.
Above all else, don’t let anyone else’s perception and judgment of your choices make the decision for you. Happiness is found when you find yourself in the midst of your dreams but realize you are in fact, awake.
If you’d like to talk to Felicia more about your choice paralysis, click here to set up a free 30 minute consultation session.
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